i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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