last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
