It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
