What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
