sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
please come you make the beer taste better
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
