I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
