let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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