Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I think I just sharted jello shots
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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