I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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