the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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