is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
