remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
