We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize