; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
She's just so happy...and so naked.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
