Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize