I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
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