Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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