It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
