New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
