Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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