my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
