i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
