i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Even my vagina gasped.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Randomize
