Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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