That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
