You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
