Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
