Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
