I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
