I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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