dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
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