So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Sext me about skeletons
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
