He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
