Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
