i permit you to call me
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Houston, we have a blender
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
