"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
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