things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
