well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Randomize
