i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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