Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize