I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
