in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
splinters make it hard to masturbate
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
