but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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