Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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