Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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