you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
