I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize