Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
