She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
