I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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