Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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