I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
