so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
