I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
