Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
