wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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