I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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