You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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