if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
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