I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
