hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
