I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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