I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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