I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
