There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
