shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize